Dirty Mind Riddles

Are you looking to spice things up in a fun and imaginative way? Look no further than these dirty mind riddles! They are suggestive, tricky, and sure to bring a knowing smile to whoever tries to solve them as they find their train of thought veering into naughty territory. That’s the beauty of dirty mind jokes. So, gather your devious friends and have fun testing the limits of your innocent thinking.

21 Dirty Mind Riddles With Answers

Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big, Donald Trump's is small and Madonna doesn't have one. What it is?

Answer: Last name.

When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?

Answer: Dentist.

Name a word that starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”?

Answer: Firetruck!

What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?

Answer: Legs.

I am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet. What am I?

Answer: Sponge.

All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

Answer: Elevator.

I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?

Answer: A crane.

What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

Answer: A seatbelt.

My love, when I gaze on thy beautiful face, careering along, yet always in place, the thought has often come into my mind... If I ever shall see thy glorious behind.

Answer: Moon

I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. What am I?

Answer: Chewing gum.

I have a long shaft. I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. What am I?

Answer: An Arrow.

What does every woman have that starts with a "V" and that she can use to get what she wants?

Answer: Her voice.

I stand up tall when things get hot, I fit cozily in an opening, prepared or not.

Answer: A flame.

I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?

Answer: A nose.

What is super hard, comes in different sizes, and can go into tiny holes?

Answer: A key.

I want to be inside you every day, and you can set me to vibrate for extra fun. What am I?

Answer: An electric toothbrush.

It starts with the letter “P” and ends with “O.R.N”. It plays a major role in the film industry. What is it?

Answer: Popcorn.

You use your hand to whack me off, the bigger I am, the louder I make people scream. What am I?

Answer: Spider

I saw a strange creature. Long, hard, and straight, thrusting into a round, dark opening. Preparing to discharge its load of lives. Puffing and squealing noises accompanied it, then a final screech as it slowed and stopped.

Answer: Train

What goes in dry and hard but comes out wet and soft?

Answer: Pasta.

What has cum in it and is long and hard?

Answer: A cucumber.

Join in on a competition against your own brain with these dirty mind riddles with answers. A word of warning: it won’t be easy to avoid the naughty traps they lay out. They are plagued with innuendos, suggestive wording, and seemingly innocent expressions that will nudge you down the wrong path in no time. The funny part, though, is that their solutions are so simple and benign that they will make you laugh out loud and question your own mind at the same time.

These dirty-minded jokes and riddles for adults are all safe for work… at least as long as your employer cannot see what’s going on inside your mind. Are you ready to let them tickle your funny bone (or maybe some other parts too)?

Last Updated: Wednesday, January 8, 2025