Are you looking to spice things up in a fun and imaginative way? Look no further than these dirty mind riddles! They are suggestive, tricky, and sure to bring a knowing smile to whoever tries to solve them as they find their train of thought veering into naughty territory. That’s the beauty of dirty mind jokes. So, gather your devious friends and have fun testing the limits of your innocent thinking.
Dirty Mind Riddles
I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?
Answer: A nose.
I am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet. What am I?
Answer: Sponge.
What goes in dry and hard but comes out wet and soft?
Answer: Pasta.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big, Donald Trump's is small and Madonna doesn't have one. What it is?
Answer: Last name.
You use your hand to whack me off, the bigger I am, the louder I make people scream. What am I?
Answer: Spider
My love, when I gaze on thy beautiful face, careering along, yet always in place, the thought has often come into my mind... If I ever shall see thy glorious behind.
Answer: Moon
What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
Answer: A seatbelt.
What does every woman have that starts with a "V" and that she can use to get what she wants?
Answer: Her voice.
I want to be inside you every day, and you can set me to vibrate for extra fun. What am I?
Answer: An electric toothbrush.
All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
Answer: Elevator.
I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. What am I?
Answer: Chewing gum.
What is super hard, comes in different sizes, and can go into tiny holes?
Answer: A key.
Name a word that starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”?
Answer: Firetruck!
I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?
Answer: A crane.
When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?
Answer: Dentist.
What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
Answer: Legs.
It starts with the letter “P” and ends with “O.R.N”. It plays a major role in the film industry. What is it?
Answer: Popcorn.
What has cum in it and is long and hard?
Answer: A cucumber.
I have a long shaft. I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. What am I?
Answer: An Arrow.
Join in on a competition against your own brain with these dirty mind riddles with answers. A word of warning: it won’t be easy to avoid the naughty traps they lay out. They are plagued with innuendos, suggestive wording, and seemingly innocent expressions that will nudge you down the wrong path in no time. The funny part, though, is that their solutions are so simple and benign that they will make you laugh out loud and question your own mind at the same time.
These dirty-minded jokes and riddles for adults are all safe for work… at least as long as your employer cannot see what’s going on inside your mind. Are you ready to let them tickle your funny bone (or maybe some other parts too)?
Last Updated: Wednesday, August 14, 2024
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A farmer in California owns a beautiful pear tree. He supplies the fruit to a nearby grocery store. The store owner has called the farmer to see how much fruit is available for him to purchase. The farmer knows that the main trunk has 24 branches. Each branch has exactly 12 boughs and each bough has exactly 6 twigs. Since each twig bears one piece of fruit, how many plums will the farmer be able to deliver?